...Dreaming is Thy Prayer...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

[006] [ LAUNDRY ]

I never thought the process of washing one's clothes can
require this much of exploitation of one's grey-matter.
Trust me its true! I am not kidding!

When I was living back in Dhaka, I never used to think,
how my clothes are being cleaned or ironed or even put
in nicely arranged pressed sets in my wardrobes.

The only 'labor' I had to do is to 'throw' my used
clothes in a dirty-clothes-bin in my bathroom. And about
my towels or sheets, I didn't even have to do that much
'labor' either. "Somehow" "someone" took care of them and
they were always clean.

How fascinating!

Then, I took this revolutionary step in my life.
I decided to step out of the cocoon and made my
dream of 'knowing-different-parts-of-this-world'
come true. The dream itself sounds very charming,
but in reality it came along with its fair-share
of nightmares.

One of the top contenders for this nightmare-list
is washing clothes. In a word 'laundry'.
Yes, you heard me right.
Its not language-barrier.
Its not cultural shock.
Its not racism problem.
Its Laundry.

As I was never involved with this process before,
I somehow grew this perception that, it must be
very easy and consumes no/minimal time and does
not need any scheduling, training or brain-work.
How wrong and stupid I was(still am)!
Someone up there was just smiling at me!

So, when my landlord was done showing me the rest
of our new flat, he took me for the visit to the laundry
room in our basement and I thought he did something
very wrong and we were somewhere inside a nuclear
power plant. It was even below the ground level.

It took me about five minutes to realize we were
actually NOT inside a power station but JUST
inside a laundry room.

The whole laundry place in Swedish is called 'tvättstuga'.
(I am sorry if I misspelled, and you personally figure
out how to pronounce it, don't ask me).

It is not just one room. Its actually a whole suit of rooms.
It has total four rooms alongside a corridor including
a washing room, two dryer rooms and a pressing room.

It took me quite a while to figure out the whole process.
Its a bit simpler than learning how to fly an aero plane.
But I will try to describe it in brief steps here.

One: You wear your clothes and make them dirty and stinky
enough for washing.

Two: You start depositing them in a cloth-basket in your flat.

Three: When the basket is about 75% full, you must book the
time-slot in advance in the 'tvättstuga'.(Yes! Thats mandatory.
Its Sweden. You need to get in a cue for every service.)

Four: You also have to make sure you buy the proper washing
powder and detergents for your clothes. This is a whole new
complex process. I will not get into details here. I always
buy this normal detergent which can wash color, white, black
every type of clothes.

Five: Its THE day. Your washing day has arrived. You need to
take the basket, which should already be overflowed by now,
to tvättstuga.

Six: Go to the Washing room. There are two different washing
machines. Put colorful clothes in one. And the less colorful
or white clothes in the other. Don't ask me why. Thats how its
been done for hundred years. I just follow the tradition.

Seven: Once the washing machine is full and you can not stuff
any more of your dirty, stinky clothes in it, try to close the
lead somehow.

Eight: There are a number of wholes on top of the machine.
Choose one randomly. And then put some(!) washing powder in it.
Here you need to follow the 'salt-as-per-your-taste' method.
That is 'powder-as-per-your-dirt' in this case.

Nine: Now you have some bigger problem. The washing machine
DOES look like a mainframe computer. It has about two hundred
buttons. So, pray for a while and ask for God's forgiveness and
then press a button(any) while your eyes are closed. It works
for me every time. So, don't worry.
Do the same for both machines.

Ten: The holy work just started. You can confirm it by hearing
the lovely splashing sound of water-flow inside the washing
machines. Its cool. You can even look inside it through the
glass window installed in its front. Its an amazing view.
Don't miss it if its your first time.

Eleven: Now the work has just begun, you can come back home
and finish the last fifty pages of your recent paperback
or watch a movie. You can also have some pizza by this time.
Come on! It needs some time. Its not just any errand you do
everyday. It’s THE laundry.

Twelve: So, now you are done with everything, pizza, movie,
book, picking your nose and all. So you can get back to
tvättstuga. Don't forget to pray one more time in this stage.

Thirteen: Its the unlucky stage. Here you will reveal if you
have done any stupid mistake with the main-frame computer.
I meant the washing machine.
Go near the machine. Try to listen if anything is happening
or not. It should be dead-silent now. Not even any light
humming sound. Cool?

OK. Now open the lead. As I said its the unlucky stage, you may
now reveal that all your white clothes are quite colorful
and the colorful clothes lost their colors and brightness.
Never mind. It happens. Its just part of life.
Take it easy.

Fourteen: After you are done cursing yourself, take the wet
clothes out and put them in the trolleys. You now need to
move to the second room(s). That is the Dryer room(s).

Fifteen: This part is again a bit complex. But I figured it
out now. There are three kind of dryers. One is called
tumble-dryer. It looks like a washing machine but does not
have any glass window. The second one is a closet-like
machine. It has racks inside it and has a fan on top of
it which produce hot-air-flow. The third one is not any
machine. Its a big room with two big fans in two ends
and has lots of wire to hang your wet clothes. Which
dryer you will choose for which clothes, you need to
figure that out by yourself when you are in the field.
If you can not, you better not divulge yourself in
doing laundry. Be stuck with your C++ programming.
Thats easier.

Sixteen: So you are done putting all the clothes in proper
dryers(!). Turn them on. Again sort out which button from
an array of buttons. After that, you have some more time
to finish the pizza you could not finish back then.
Go back home and watch a new movie. Or a baseball game.
Finish the pizza too.

Seventeen: Time to go again and figure out the situation.
Go near tvättstuga. In this stage you should look for some
smoke coming out from tvättstuga. Also look for any funny
burning smell. Its nothing. Just a routine-check.
If everything seems under control, approach the dryers.
Open them and check if your clothes are really dry now.

Eighteen: You are almost in the end of the process.
I will just describe how I, myself, do the laundry.
Not the common orthodox-practice. Thats for moms.
I am assuming all your clothes are properly dried.
If not, the funguses will be happy to find a new
habitat for them. Put the dry clothes in that basket
again. Time to go back home. Just remember after going
back home you may reveal instead of having six pairs
of socks you now have five and half pairs of them.
Thats part of life too.
(The orthodox process includes the fourth room in the
nuclear power plant, which is the pressing room. I am
yet to discover how to use that. Check my blog for
updates.)

Nineteen: I am just assuming you are as lucky as me.
And instead of having five and half pair of socks,
you have just five pairs of socks intact. Don't expect
to get back all six pairs intact. People nowadays
expect too much from life.

Twenty: Try to flatten your clothes a bit. And then try
to fold them nicely. Just try. Forget about all those
nice images of clothes you had when you were back home
with mom. So, try for a while. Get as close as you can
with this process. And then start stuffing them back
again in your wardrobes. If they are stuffed tightly
enough, they will be pressed by themselves.

So, that was Laundry in JUST “Twenty Easy Steps.

Now some history of this much-acclaimed technology.
Quoting from Wiki.
"The first British patent under the category of Washing
and Wringing Machines was issued in 1691. In 1782 Henry
Sidgier was issued a British patent for a rotating drum
washer. The first United States Patent titled 'Clothes
Washing' was granted to Nathaniel Briggs of New Hampshire
in 1797. The electric washing machine was first mass
produced in 1906."

And about dryer. From Wiki again.
"The first tumble dryer, a hand-cranked version was created
in 1799 by a Frenchman named Pochon. Electric tumble dryers
appeared in the 20th century."

(for operating symbols of the mainframe computer-look-alike
machines, you can check the following site. To me its Hebrew.
http://www.textileaffairs.com/c-common.htm)

1691...1782...1799...1906...20th Century...
I am a lucky human being that I have washing machines and
dryers. I am just waiting for the scientists to invent a
machine which can press and make my clothes 'home-like'
without much hassle. May be fifty more years.

Till then...
Hail Laundry! Hail Tvättstuga! Hail Mom too (Miss you)!

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